Difficulties of being an over-thinker

What’s the difficulty in overthinking? Everyone may think what’s there to fret about? SO WRONG! Thinking and overthinking is same yet so different. Thinking is when you have to make a decision or ponder over something, overthinking is when thinking becomes your number one hobby. You think when you read, study, listen to music, travel, get hit by boredom or simply put, all the time. It has it’s advantages but its not as simple as ABC to look over the exasperation it gives. You are sure about nothing in your life, like NOTHING! I have less than a year to graduate but I still have no clue what I’m going to do in the future. Every single time I think I have found a major, my mind immediately whispers, “Are you sure?”, “Are you really that passionate about it to take it up as a major?” and a lot more from which I’ll spare you. Your mind exaggerates every situation. For instance, losing a pen makes you feel irresponsible and fear about how you won’t be able to survive alone. Somehow only the negative thoughts sticks to our brain in a flood of positive ones. It is never too easy to arrive at a solution and even if you do by some miracle, your brain starts questioning about it which ultimately leads you back in a red carpet to square one. You can be pegged as drama queen because nothing is simple to you, even trivial problems are mammoth sized to you. It stops you from having fun, doesn’t allow you to take risks and makes you live less. You always compare yourself with others. You feel worthless ,you can never accept appreciations because of two reasons, one you think that they don’t mean it and two you think about someone who’s one step ahead of you and feel like you don’t deserve the appreciation. Sometimes this overthinking can take away mirth from your life, giving you perpetual sadness. Your thoughts are a bottomless abyss and unfathomable. One minute you’re thinking about what the Kardashian’s are going to do now and the next you’re thinking Aliens taking over the planet.

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The Damsel in distress

Welcoming death with a embrace when life is in hell

girl-drowning-in-water-widescreen-white-dress-women-dying-hd-wallpaper-e1442954158994She runs as fast as she could,

her legs burning.

she dare not look behind

for the monsters might be behind her.

Her chassis adorns scars no one could see.

Thought of oblivion gives her solace than entity.

The ruthless monsters catch up to her,

dragging her down to endless swirls of darkness.

She closes her eyes and mumbles a pray for help one last time

before loosing her credence all together.

She retrospect the days when she was safe and sound

when warmth always surrounds her.

Now all she could feel is cold and solitude.

Pain flares through her, for the ache for mirth,

like a whip lashing her soul.

Her light evanishes languidly.

She’s hanging by the cliff now, ruminating.

This is her last straw and should pull shrewdly and fast.

As the monsters close in she makes up her mind.

She grips onto tenacity. She pushes herself to fall

down the cliff. The journey to death seemed like a never-ending fall.

She reached the river of sorrow after what seemed like an eternity.

She slowly drowns in the darkness of the river.

The pain fades and a smile creeps on her face,

as she had freed herself from the horrid monsters.

She drifts off to the great beyond.

 

MIRROR

What happens when mirrors doesn’t exist

 

I always seem to think of anything and everything when I’m travelling. I could go through the same route thousand times and yet I can’t recall the path. I get deep into my thoughts that I could remember glancing at certain places before but don’t know where it leads to or which path to choose to  reach my destination. It has always been like this even in my childhood, even when I couldn’t talk without slurring I used to think a lot. My thoughts  are varied that I can’t fathom where I get those thoughts from, maybe it’s from all the fantasy novels I read or it’s just my brain being weird. My thoughts vary from philosophical, questioning life and the greater truths to nonsensical and moronic thoughts. I usually won’t remember most of these mind-wandering thoughts but I remember this one till date, what if mirrors doesn’t exist . the number of people having body consciousness will decrease. Yes there will still be people criticizing us, making fun of how we look but, it won’t have the same effect it has now because we aren’t looking at ourselves in the mirror , thinking whether whatever they said are the truth. We won’t believe them right away, thinking that they’re just messing with us. We won’t be standing in front of the mirror wishing to be someone else or looking at our flaws wishing it would be gone. We’re insusceptible to depression, low self-esteem , harmful thoughts. Our ancestors living during the cave man era never cared about how they look. Maybe our lives would turn out to be better if mirrors never exist.         

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